Originally Posted by Thumper

Her behavior is not surprising at all. She is choosing alcohol. She chooses places with alcohol, activities with alcohol, people that drink alochol, etc., over everything else. She is drawn like a magnet. She is doing things that put her kids in danger, that are not in her best interests, that are not in the best interest of your marraige. This is what alcoholics do. Expect it. She is lying. She is saying what you want to hear to keep the peace, makes some feeble attempts at following through to keep the status quo, and then does exactly what alcoholis do. Listen to the actions, not the words. This is it. This is the very very best behavior you'll ever get out of her as long as she is in active addiction.

You can let it go, ignore it, justify it, agonize over it, rage at it, accomidate it, make big and small (but useless) attempts at trying to control it - but none of it will change what she does - which is exactly what she is doing - which is what you should expect.

Wishing you the best as I know this is a hard spot to be in.