From the bottom of my heart, thank you all so very much for the support and such kind/honest words. I am seeing a therapist to handle/help me. Thank you all for believing in me and my decision. As much as I regret it, I regret the choices that lead up to it. I wish that he had told me that he drank when we first met because I don't date anyone that drinks. No matter how little. I don't trust alcohol and I never have.
What I want is for him to get help and get healthy. Get that poison out of his body and mind. I want him to love himself. To respect himself and me. But here I am. What I want isn't the issue, it's what he wants and what he wants is a drink. I'm better then a drink. I'm better then pain. Just like all of you wrote, it will get better and I have to believe that I gave him nothing but love, trust, friendship and respect.
Thank you all again for giving me some strength and courage today. I will do my best to enjoy the day and not wrap myself in self-pity or doubt. Thank you, thank you.
Ala