I felt very similar to the way you describe when I got out of my alcoholic marriage.
I have found Alanon along with SR, a big help in learning to live a better, happier, more serene life. I was so used to the chaos and pain that when I finally got free, things felt almost too quiet, almost. I think we do get addicted to the drama and constant adrenaline rush of living with active addiction.
There is a lot of information up in the sticky section above the threads. "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie is helpful, as is individual counseling.
Surviving a relationship with an active alcoholic is a whole different ball game. It leaves most people shredded.
There are a lot of knowledgeable people here and a world of wisdom to help you recover.
Keep reading and posting and follow the advice of those who have gone before you, and you will get better.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote