thank you so much Hollyanne. I appreciate your words and have actually wondered if i should be nervous about it. the truth is, i'm feeling nervous, but he will be out of town for work when i actually leave, but here when the movers come to get my things, so i believe i'll get a glimpse into his behavior when my things leave and then will be able to slip out while he is away. That makes me feel a little better, but i know that i should expect the unexpected because i am not willing to play anymore and i'm pretty sure he'll need one last "episode".....so far it has only been verbal, though that has been terribly painful, but i hope it stays that way.