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Old 10-14-2010, 08:45 AM
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fighter1010
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 23
Waited for it to happen and it did

Hello,
i'm a first time poster, but i've been lurking for awhile.

I moved out a month and half ago, from a AH who i didn't think "had that bad of a problem". he didn't drink everyday, but when he did he was unbearable, annoying, everything. Completely emotionally disconncted from me and our daughter. Well i after i moved out he stopped drinking, went to treatment for 4 days, and stayed sober, until last night.

i had been "dating" him, and it was going ok. it felt awkward and not right, but i was trying to make myself just do it. Someone else that had been close to me had begun pushing me away, and it pushed me right back. then we got in an argument, and i cried for an hour. Made me realize i had been stuffing all the anger and resentment, and stopped talking to him. i couldn't put it into words, and i devasted him. he thought all was well, and we were going to work it out, even went to marriage counseling. but i couldn't do it. i couldn't kiss him, i couldn't act like it was ok. it was just me thinking i could to take the easy way out.

well after the berating text messages that this was all my fault in the middle of the night, and then the apologies this morning, then the yelling, then the apologies, i told him this can't be fixed. and i'm done and it's over. i already live on my own, and i love it there. When i would go to his house to pick up my daughter it brought nothing but sadness, but i don't miss it. it was never home.

i went to Al Anon last night, thankfully because i had been skipping it, and i know this is not my fault for his relapse and his unhappiness and this whole situation, but a little reassurance would be nice.

p.s. we own a bar, so that has always been his excuse, and has complicated this situation ten fold. if i had known what it would lead to, i would have never signed my name to it.
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