NeedHappiness

Well folks.... long time no see! Been a long summer for me. To make a long story short... took the XABF back after a years' breakup..... and I am here to report that NOTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGG had changed! So, he quit drinking for right around 100 days..... I was SO proud of him. Not sure what happened but I ended up fighting the same ole battle I have fought for 5 years!

So, the end of July I had a major surgery. My mom was admitted into hospital 4 days later and ended up passing away on Aug 6th. I was devastated! The XABF was a tremendous help to me during that time but within 2 months after my surgery, I told him he needed to move out. AGAIN!!! I'm sure he thought I was having a midlife crisis from losing my mother and from surgery, but honestly I'm not sure what it was. I just woke up one morning and the situation hit me like a brick in the face..... there he sat in the living room with the remote control, and there I laid in bed wondering and fretting on HOW I was going to pay the next round of bills AND get my medicine... It was then I decided I was done, I was through with supporting this man and I felt strong and determined.

He moved out. Then lo and behold, I "thought" I could remain friends with him because of our dog (which is like a CHILD and I love her dearly and will NOT let her go).... We have been sharing custody. I am not comfortable with that when he drinks and has her with him!! If the police take him to jail, what will happen to my dog? I worry more about that than I do him!!!

okay, done venting. Just wanted to share with you all what life has been like for someone who "THOUGHT" their alcoholic could and would change. NADA!! In my case, this man is 50 years old and I have heard every excuse in the book. I wish I would have listened to all the TRUE advice I received in this forum a few years ago! Would ahve saved myself a whole lot of grief!
I know I deserve so much better, and you know what? If I can't find better, then I am VERY happy to hoof it alone!!