You are being very kind and caring.....but please don't neglect yourself and your familly...that doesn't help in the end.
Please check out and read the stickies at the top of this forum...it contains so much wisdom.
As much as you love her and want the best for her, softening things can actually work against her best interest, keeping healthy boundaries for you and your life will protect your interests and prove a good example.
((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))