Originally Posted by Mambo Queen

Gotta admit, I do wish his sisters were more willing to step in in times of crisis--like, I get why they wouldn't want him to live with them permanently, but to stay for a few days before treatment. Look, I understand the desire to go NC, it's certainly preserved my sanity, but a selfish part of me feels my own guilt burden would be lessened if I knew they were willing to do some things for him.

Originally Posted by Mambo Queen

Here are thoughts that make me feel better:

--He's where he needs to be right now.
--If he's truly all alone, that will help motivate him to change.
--I haven't a clue how he's survived these past 6 weeks, as I know he's out of money, but somehow he's found a way, and he'll continue to find a way.
--He's never really been seriously suicidal, in my humble opinion. Even this, if I had all the facts, I would be willing to bet was more of a "cry for help" as he has expressed interested in going to a psych ward before but knows you have to be suicidal before they'll admit you.
--My best help didn't help. And I don't have the money to keep supporting him anyway, even if I thought it would help.

Originally Posted by Mambo Queen

Here are thoughts that make me feel worse:

--Poor him, being all alone and having to go through this. Everyone deserves a support system.
--At least when I was helping/in contact he wasn't attempting suicide. What if he dies? Will it be my fault in some way?
--Do I want him to die without having said a proper goodbye? Without his daughter doing so?

Originally Posted by Mambo Queen

Here's to hoping I can continue to let the positive thoughts outweigh the negative. My mind has made quite a switch on this in the last few months. A few months ago, this news would have me bawling my eyes out or just being a complete and absolute bundle of nerves. Now, I can't say it's bringing me happiness, but I feel like I can handle it.