I have been reading here every chance I get and learning quite a bit as well.
It is very unfortunate that so many people get addicted to things that are not good for them. It sure ruins a lot of lives, dreams, families, relationships...well everything! It would be lovely if there was a magic wand that could be waved and stop all this, but that is a fantasy idea and we have to live in the real world.
Bernadette, the information you provided was great. It made me remember my sister who passed away a few years ago. Everytime that she wrote me I had to look up almost every word she said as a nurse. It brought back fond memories.
Fortunately the problem of scratching appears to be a simple hygene problem and not a STD. The other problems are still an unknown.
Learn2Live, you are pretty good at diagnostics. You are correct...for many years I did give her carte blanche...I literally gave her my paycheck every period or wrote her a check from the business...I never wanted an accounting and did not have the time to do simple things like go to the grocery. However that changed a few years back.
I have started to follow her lead , I have taken steps to have CCs in my name only and have started looking at ways to make a move quicker and as smooth as possible. I think it will take at least two years to accomplish what I need to complete before I move on with my life. It is amazing at how much "stuff" I have accumulated in these years...I do not see how I can take it with me so I'll dispose of it gradually over time.
It would be nice to be able to discuss what I have to do with someone like I use to be able to do with her, but that is not possible as I will need to keep my big mouth shut. I have started overlooking what she is doing and not allowing it to change my attitude which must be kept on an even plane.