hi chicory, i do feel for you, as you do sound a lot like my mother, you say the same familiar things that i hear all the time. My mother always says to me what would i do if my son was in the same position and was feeling lost and had no one, and it puts me on the spot, what would i do as a mother. well i asked myself that, and realise i could be in the same position as her.
but i think knowing what i know now i hope i would be better equipped to deal with it. i am 51 and do have sons and a daughter, and if i do have to deal with my childrens addictions ever, heaven forbid, i hope i would have more of an in sight knowing what my mother is having to cope with , with my brothers, hope you can find the strength chicory to do what is right for you, i wouldn't want you to end up as troubled as my mother is now at age 81, i don't think it gets any easier, i urge you to escape now , while you are still young enough, love thyme x