Still hanging in...
It has been a month since my ex and I spoke. After the horrible things he said to me I sometimes feel as if I never want to speak with him again. On the other hand I wonder why I am not hearing from him...after reading numerous posts one thing that appears to be common is the ex begging to come back etc. Is mine in so much denial and blaming me that he is happier without me?? He has not tried to contact his sons either (20 and 23) it is like he has dropped off the face of the earth. After 30 years together I find this quite surprising. Mind you me not contacting him is surprising as well. I know I need to stop trying to figure him out but the last 3 months I have seen a side of him I didn't know existed. Why do I keep telling myself that is in a happier place...it's like I am trying to punish myself. But no contact does have its comforts. I no longer worry about his actions or how he will interfere with my day. I only hope that one day he will feel some pain or regret but I know by then it won't matter to me.