i love this thread.
it's really good, and so many different perspectives.
a relationship is 50/50, IMO. both people working together. being honest, loving, considerate of eachother, and themselves.
when we are shown these things in a relationship, when we are given the same treatment we give to someone else, it is wonderful.
in my relationship with xabf (father of our child in 12 days) i experienced true love. he treated me with respect, genuine respect. he loved my mind, my spirit. the strength of my beliefs. he valued our relationship. it meant the world to both of us.
all of that was taken away, when he relapsed. now, i am 12 days from having our child. and he is shooting up roxys every day. and i never hear from him, nor do i contact him.
i left early on in his relapse. because the lies and BS were not something i would tolerate.
my resentment comes from all of that joy being stolen from me. because he decided to use drugs again. the reality that i had known and experienced was stolen from me, and warped into something else. something horrible.
that is why i have resentment.
now i'm going to be raising our son alone. and i live with the feeling that i will get a phone call saying xbf is dead. i trust that God will do what He sees fit.
and whatever the outcome of my situation, i will have no anger towards Him. my xbf, on the other hand, i have sympathy. i have compassion. i shed tears for him, because i know he is not happy. his life is a wreck. but i will be angry, also. because he CHOSE that.