hurtandangry,
You mentioned a breathalyzer earlier. I've been down that road. I was often sure my XAH was drunk and he would swear he wasn't so I bought a cheap one on eBay. It showed that he was drinking and he still swore that he wasn't. So then psycho me paid several hundred dollars to buy one like state troopers use. And guess what? It confirmed the same thing that the cheap one did and that my instincts had told me all along. I finally realized the extent of how much I had been lied to. But I held on for even longer thinking that surely he would realize how much I loved him and that bad things were going to happen if he kept on drinking. For me it ended when I ended it. Love had nothing to do with it. For a long time I didn't buy into the disease theory but I do now.
Good luck to you.