Originally Posted by
hurtandangry 
Thanks coyote!
Trust my gut?..........right now I’m having trouble differentiating between heart/gut and common sense.
I know that if I insist on antabuse at least I’ll know if she's drinkin'...
But both my heart and gut frown on the lack of trust insisting on antabuse implies.......and.........common sense says it's the only way to be sure.
All this anguish over attempting counseling..........sometimes I feel like a girl;)
Nothing against all the fine, strong women here at SR, but I know what you mean, I've had to sit down to pee for several years now.
With regard to the antabuse, you'd still be trying to control HER behavior. Until SHE decides to stop, she will figure out some way to keep drinking, antabuse or not.
Our recovery is about giving up our ILLUSION of control of another person, in favor of spending that energy on taking care of ourselves and our minor children.
BTW, one single Dad to another, you rock.
If your counselor tells you ANYTHING besides what my two told me, find a new counselor. On the other hand, your counselor's kid deserves a college education as much as the next, but do you want to pay for it?
You did great, taking the bull(sh!t) by the horns in getting you wife out of the house, why all the second guessing now?
Try to find an alanon meeting, I bring my 9yo and have for 4 years. She packs a "meeting" bag of stuff to keep her occupied. SR is great, but F2F is 100 times more powerful.
We have a slogan, the three A's, Awareness, Acceptance, and Action. You are aware, now. Next you have to really Accept the reality of your situation with you wifes drinking problem and all that entails.
When you have FULLY accepted the reality of your situation, your course of action will become clear.
When ever I have skipped the
sitting still with something (most of my life before recovery), I have been REACTING, and ALWAYS, without fail, made the wrong decision and made things MORE difficult for all involved.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote