Thanks HurtingAgain,
I’m doing all this waffling over “talking” about her sobriety before even attempting counseling as a couple.
Like you, I still love her; unlike you I don’t view alcoholism as a disease. I view addiction (except for opiates) as a psychological issue, not a physical one.
Some folks can and do quit poor behavior of their own free will, others respond better to group or individual counseling.
How she choose to correct her poor behavior is up to her, how or if I verify to myself that she’s exhibiting good behavior going into counseling is a choice I need to make.
I need to determine if I believe there can be trust and respect in our relationship moving forward………if not then I need to let it go.
Antabuse screams of lack of trust but I can justify it to myself as a prerequisite to any form of marriage counseling.