I'm in a similar situation. I've been separated for one month from AH, and still desparately love and miss the man he used to be before the disease stole him away. Though I know that things couldn't have continued the way they were and that I'm better off without him in my life right now, I still can't help but mourn deeply for the person he is without the alcohol. Everywhere I go, there are memories of him, and my heart is breaking thinking of a life without him.
Like you, I would be willing to take him back if I knew for a fact that he was actively working on recovery. I would wait for him indefinitely if I knew at the end of it all that he would be "healed" and I could have him back healthy and whole. But sadly, there are no guarantees, and I'm not sure if I'm willing to allow the doubt and uncertainty back in my life. I wish I had a crystal ball to see 5 years into the future. I'm afraid to take him back and wish that I had left when I had the chance, and I'm afraid to let him go and spend the rest of my life missing him. It's a dark place to be, and there are no easy answers.
I hope it helps to know you're not alone. I've found a lot of support here, and am so grateful to have found this place to help with my grieving.