coyote21

First of all, you're much wiser than I was in the same situation. It took me several years of nonsense to finally get out, even then, a judge finally put my axw out of the house because I was still unable to make that decision. So I applaud your logic and clarity so far. Good job.

I think what you're asking for here is a guarantee of someones credibility, an active alcoholic with NO credibility. There are simply no guarantees in life, under the best of circumstances. I think you already know the answer to your question.

My axw sounds perfectly fine on the phone. We had a nice chat just yesterday, she's returning some watch of mine she just found in a box she took 4+ years ago. I thought, well that's nice, she's finally trying to be civil.

Then I remembered she was hospitalized last month for 10 or so days and had 6 liters of fluid removed from her stomach and almost died from her alcoholism, despite claiming sobriety for the last 3 years. Then I remembered she is rarely nice without a price tag, usually in the form of some unreasonable request.

Recovery from alcoholism is obvious from great distances, our gut tells us the truth that our minds sometime would rather not see. It's the same with an alcoholic trying to feign recovery, it is obvious to our gut. Listen to your gut, it will never lie to you.

BTW, I was told by 2 different marriage counselors that counseling would be a waste of time without treating the alcoholism first.

You can always revisit the marriage down the road if your wife chooses recovery. Lots of people get remarried. But I must say, of all the relationship mistakes I've made though out the years, I've yet to make THAT one! A man has to take pride in himself where he can. Ha!

I think you are doing great, good luck, and keep posting.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote