Chicory..I also want you to have a happy ending. I think alanon is AWESOME .It helps me so much. But, the issue I have is when people say to lay the boundaries out..you have.. he has run over every boundary you have ever had. I don't think he is gonna start following rules and respecting boundaries at this point. I think that is where you may be stuck..hoping he's going to suddenly see how much you do for him and "get it". That is most likely not going to happen. Believe me, i thought that too. It's amazing what a little time on the streets can do for motivation. As a mom of course you want him safe.I wanted that for my AD too, but she wasn't safe and nothing I did could make her safe. His life sounds so sad, I am 40..depending on my mom to supply me with a home, food, clothing, etc. at this point in my life would be so demeaning. There is something to earning your keep, being on your own. My 21 year old a few years ago didn't want to work and preferred to smoke pot all day. Thats fine..not in my house with me paying the bills. He has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but would not take his meds. I made him leave. He now works 2 jobs, has his own apartment, still smokes pot sometimes, plays video games whenever he wants. He lives his life the way he want..but he has to pay for it. Is it the life I dreamed for him..no. But he is living it and is self suffiecient. Do you think I should have let him stay here? It was hard, I cried and felt guilty, but guess what..I got over that. It can be done..I've done it with both of mine and it turned out in both cases to be the best thing I could have done for me AND them.