I can't offer any real advice, but I am in a similar situation. My wife is OCD and an alcoholic. Our difference is that AW has been on medication for her OCD for about 20 years now. Her primary med is Prozac, but she takes a couple of others that I cannot remember at the moment. I think one of them is for panic attacks. Her doctor tried putting her on Abilify for a while, but it gave her the shakes.
The Prozac made her able to function, but she has become technically disabled over the years. She can't hold down a job, and she still behaves obsessively, just not to the point of driving everyone crazy.
Her alcoholism started about three years ago, and has grown steadily worse. She fell and broke her ankle two days ago... drunk at the time, of course.
I wish I had some words of encouragement for you, but you're dealing with two devastating illnesses. All I can say is be strong for your children, and get all the help you can. You will likely find some great advice and support on this website.