I believe resentment just goes hand-in-hand with trying to having a relationship with an alcoholic, whether an active or a dry drunk. I have been married for 40 years to an alcoholic who is now a dry drunk. For the majority of those years he actively drank over more than half a gallon of rum each and every night. When he finally quit he went cold turkey without working all the steps in AA. He still possesses all the traits he had while he was an active alcoholic.
Than I suffered a massive stroke in DEC 2009, and almost died. From DEC 23rd until JAN 8th I was comatose. When I came back into reality I woke up with so much rage inside of me. Rage and resentment for a lifetime spent with an alcoholic! I didn't receive any care or compassion from him. He didn't give me anything I could hang onto for survival. Forget about our marriage vows "in sickness and in health". He just refused to be there when I really needed him!
I have taken an inventory of my life and how I managed to get into this situation. I've had to go into therapy to try to lessen some of my anger. I now am able to see where I became my husband's crutch and enabler and never really made him to account for his responsibilites and life. I'm supposed to be recuperating, and, God knows, I don't need the stress that just goes living with a dry drunk.
The best advice I can give someone is run as fast as you can away from an alcoholic who doesn't want to work on his recovery!