Thanks for sharing Fire. Hearing the other side is healing. This is probably why ever codie should hit an AA meeting once and a while.
A few years back, I still blamed all the wrongs on my ex. It was al anon that taught me that I had a huge list of shortcomings as well.
I will never take the blame for my ex's cheating or his lies (he needs to own those), but I did contribute to the demise of the relationship with my ever present codie self righteous behavior.