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Old 10-08-2010, 01:56 PM
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theuncertainty
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Originally Posted by transformyself View Post
So I had a fight with AH after he said some nasty things to me and flew into an absolute rage. Then i realized, what the hell am I doing? Why does ANYTHING this man says or does affect me? He's A DRUNK! I'm as sick as he is if i let his perception of me or the world affect me in any way.
I think it's HUGE too. What a great insight, Transform. I'd been having a hard time with a similar issue. My counselor had to point it out to me: "He has emotionally abused and hurt you and DS; he is an alcoholic who refuses to see that he has a problem; he has repeatedly lied to you about both big and small things; he has run away from his responsibilities as a husband, father, son, brother. Who is he to get to say who you are and what kind of person you are? Why do you give his words and behaviors more weight than your own words, feelings, or knowledge?"

It was a major lightbulb moment for me. He's nobody. He's currently behaving like a POS. He has absolutely no ground to stand on. He does not get to tell me who I am or what kind of person I am. Now I just need to remember that with each new verbal assault he slings.
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