Old 10-08-2010, 11:09 AM
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Troubledsister
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: McLean VA
Posts: 93
Question Dad wants me to apologize to Addict Brother

Well, last night my dad informed me that I am trustee for his will (he is not sick, age 68) and that he is so upset about the scene at the beach house in August (I took my hubbie and kids and left due to AB's selfishness, and his son pinching my kids incessantly. Unfortunately emotions ran high and we had some words with my brother and his enabler wife who also drinks) My dad said he needs to know that I'll be able to talk civilly/amicably with my brother about the estate at that time. He plans to leave 1/2 his assets to my brother, since as he says "he is my son and I don't want to disinherit him." My brother is a binge user so he fools everyone - holds down a decent job, appears responsible, etc.. So my dad is convinced that things have changed.

I realize I can't control how my brother's family lives their life, what bad choices they make, or that my parents are in denial about the problem. Since the beach house incident I have sent my nephew a bday gift, tried to call nephew so kids could say happy bday and texted when AB didnt answer, texted my brother on his bday a few days later. All met with the silent treatment. When mentioning this to my dad he says "He is waiting for an apology. I want you to think about it."

so I'm at a loss.. wanting to make my dad happy, feel at ease, and have some semblace of a relationship w my brother, and for the cousins (my 2 kids and AB's son), and also obvious resentment that my brother's actions/kid's actions get forgotten. Would they ever apologize for their behavior which led to us wanting to leave the beach house? Never.

Any ideas for what to do???
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