Originally Posted by
codeflayer 
Thanks suki I think that will be my first step. My first boundary will be that my paycheck will no longer pay for her addiction. I'll discuss it with her and, based on her reaction, I'll determine how far I need to go to enforce that rule out of the gate.
Having been where you are, I see something that may cause you some trouble. Please do not take this as criticism, but as sharing of experience.
There is no enforcing of rules on alcoholics. You may be able to coerce them into complying to your wishes for a period of time, but it will not last. And when that rubber band snaps back, it will be with some force.
Maybe spend some time reading about boundaries up in the stickies before having this discussion with her. The essence of boundaries is to protect oneself from anothers behavior, not to alter the others behavior. So, I believe it would be best to determine what boundary will protect you (and your children) best, without relying on her compliance to "rules."
L