Again, maybe I'm being naive but I feel it's right to give her a chance to prove herself especially since there isn't much risk in doing so.
Codeflayer, I don't think you are naive. Whatever "place" you need to get to, you will get to in due time. The "best" answer to the problem may take a long time to get to. Some people will make suggestions but please do not feel that just because you do not agree with those suggestions, that you are naive. Follow your heart.
Please understand that the process you have begun by posting here and considering Al-Anon (and hopefully going to Al-Anon) is a process of becoming Aware of certain truths, learning to Accept some things, and taking appropriate and effective Action toward health and wellness.