Beware my crazy thoughts today:
Ok this sounds horrible, but i wonder if things would be easier if my ABF would just pass out and not wake up one day. It's a mean thought but just something that has been running thru my head. When i was living with him and he was tanked i always worried that he would tumble down the stairs and just die there. Now that I'm not there tho i do keep worrying about these things, cause no one would discover him for days. He also mentioned to me in a drunken text that he was gonna cook something on the stove. It's a gas stove, what if he leaves it on??
Today I almost hopped in my car and drove the 5 hours to check up on him. I'm glad i talked myself out of it. My mind and my wallet cant afford to do that much longer.
This morning i got a text from my ABF's boss, it said "I'm losing business left and right because no one is at the bench to fix stuff...people can't wait...not good...he knows sept and oct are the busiest months, the months that make or break the business, guess he doesnt care" I love his boss but he enables my man as much as I do, maybe even more. In five years or so of my man missing work each month his boss still hasnt fired him because no one else wants to work.
I also got a soberish text today from the ABF telling me he thinks he broke his arm somehow. Over the year i have gotten used to those texts, he's just looking for sympathy and pity. He's not getting it from me today!
It's just been a stressful day, especially since I went thru my list of pals on my phone and noticed i'm the only single person out of them all
Thats hard to take, just cause i cant deal with lovey dovey stuff very well at the moment, makes me cry