Originally Posted by
codeflayer 
Thanks for all the replies. I will look into Al-Anon meetings. With my schedule that might be a tough one. I will also keep my kids' safety in mind (of course!) Right now I'm contemplating how best to stop enabling her.
Not drinking with her and not going out and buying alcohol for her won't be a problem. The issue is how to handle her budget. She's in charge of buying groceries and the household items. I pay the bills. I can see her being very upset if I just went all the way and opened another checking account cutting her ability to buy alcohol out completely. I can see that causing more problems and accelerating the issue. She would essentially be without any income and would no longer have any responsibility when it comes to our finances. It's a tough call.
Is that a bad thing?
Honestly, as an addict and alcoholic in recovery, it never really mattered if I had the money for my high.. I still got it, one way or another.
If it's absolutely necessary for her to purchase the items for the house, buy gift cards, open accounts at stores instead of having to go in and throw cash around. Make a list and do the shopping together, with the kids. But really.. she'll find a way to drink if she wants to drink.. she's an adult with that right. The only thing you can really be in charge of here is YOU, and those little kiddos.