azkatz

I left town for a part-time job for 6 weeks and told my ABF that I wanted space from him because I couldn't handle his drinking and the way he treated me while he drank. He has his ups/downs about me being gone and last night was a down. He told me if I'm not home by midnight Friday we are over. I tell him I love him but can't be with him if he continues to drink.

I do smoke pot and have told him I'm willing to quit smoking if he will quit drinking. He makes accusations that it is my pot smoking that ruined our relationship and not his drinking. I've kept a diary on the times he got out of control and have emails from him I've saved to remind me of what he does that got me to this point of leaving.

I have read that alcoholics place blame on others. I know I'm not perfect in this relationship and have accepted my faults in the relationship and offered to fix myself in order to make us work. I just wish he would do the same.

I am very much a co-dependent. Haven't been alone since I was 16 yrs old for more than 2 weeks. I jumped from relationship to relationship till I met my current. I did take 4 months break before meeting him because I was cheated on and it devastaed me. When I met my current guy he seemed perfect for me in every way. Then the drinking got heavier and heavier and he started saying mean things to me. I know the anger isn't really directed or about me. I know he is bitter about his ex-wife and how she took him for everything. I know his work stresses him out too much. It all gets bottled up and when he drinks it all comes out and I'm his punching bag.

I am scared about being alone. I'm very alone where I'm at now. Went to a town with a population of just over 600. Smallest town I've ever been to. I'm hoping that this will give me the strength to allow myself time to heal and not rush into another relationship. My main hope is that ABF will quit because he wants to be with me instead of the alcohol. Has this ever worked for anyone??? The stories I've been reading don't sound as successful about getting someone to actually quit.

My ABF moved to another part of town and I know it will be a financial struggle for him but I've also begged him several times to quit treating me the way he was before finally asking him to leave. My guess is that his anger towards me will fester and grow since he will probably think that I was the one who put him in even more of a financial burden.

Would like to hear if anyone was successful in getting their significant other to quit. I'm hopeful it will happen but it seems more and more that I'm just dreaming.