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Old 10-07-2010, 07:17 AM
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missphit
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: New England, U.S.
Posts: 169
Still moving forward

I am still moving forward with my plans and each day brings me closer to being able to leave. I am staying out of the alcoholic's business, but we are on speaking terms from afar, since he goes away to work and I am able to pack and get myself in order without him here for a small block of time.
I am very detached and it is all i can do to make sure i look after myself which has been helpful for me to remain detached. I have lined up movers, signed my lease, and given my check, and made arrangements for my son to come here and make the long drive north to my new place back with my family.
I have had to rehome a couple pets, and put down a couple very old unadoptables, which i know was the right thing, but it has me feeling very sad. I am also able to take two older pets with me, and i am very grateful for that.
It is all happening in good order but i wish i was already gone! it can't happen fast enough for me...so I am trying to remember to take it one day at a time.
I saw a lawyer yesterday to be sure i have my behind covered and I am pretty proud of myself for doing all the right things that i know i deserve. I am filling out online applications for work and i just know i'm doing the right thingf....just wish i could move faster, but.....i know the time will go by quickly and it does give me time to be sure i've cleaned up behind myself.
The past week was a hard one because of the loss of my sweet animals. I was lucky that my vet is also a friend and was very supportive and agreed with the decision i had to make. there was no choice and I am having trouble not resenting my AH for having to make that decision. I am keeping it to myself and glad he is not around, but I need to let the resentment go because it isn't good for me to carry it. that is my update, for now. I am so glad to be getting off this roller coaster and I have been able to speak my mind without being mean or angry for the first time in 20 years...that part is feeling very good and making me proud of myself. I KNOW that i deserve better!! and i am going to be sure to do that for ME!!
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