Originally Posted by
sesh 
I think it all comes down to whether we think alcoholism is disease or not.
Before I trully understood it is disease, I used to think all kind of things, and I was so resentful. BUt once I truly understood in my heart that alcoholism is a terrible disease I was able to let go of my resentment. It didn't take away the pain, though, as I still feel it, but I also feel the empathy. Do I chose to live with an A or not is a completely different subject. It is my own choice to decide what I want in my life, but it doens't remove the empathy I feel for A people. To be honest, I think their struggle is worse than mine, as I do have a choice and they don't so much or at least it is much harder.
I think at the end of the day, we are all just people, different people, what is simple for you can be hard for me and vise versa, and we all struggle. I'm an ACOA too, and I've been struggling with resentment for years too, I think the way to get over it is to understand alcoholism is a disease, to take the reality for what it is, and to work on our expectations of ourselves and others.
Also I think anger and resentment can be good to get you to start moving, acting, but it can be dangerous if you stay stuck in it, as it is only working against you.
I think you're right, Sesh. If one can understand it as a disease, then one can arrive at empathy.
I lived with 2 active adult alcoholics in my lifetime. I lived with one child with cancer. I have empathy for the child with cancer.
I have empathy, too, for people who have struggles. People come to me often because they say I'm not judgemental. I want to be empathetic. I believe there are people, though, who CHOOSE their struggles, and for those people, I have no empathy.
I have an example: there are people I have taken into my home from the streets. Not addicted, not alcoholic. I have seen some pick up the resources available to them and SHINE. I have seen others go to live in their cars. I have no more empathy for those car-living people. They did not utilize their resources. Too bad. That's sickness right there.
I'm a single mom raising a fantastic child. I quit my career after 10 years (risking my very career and future monetary gain) to stay at home and live off my savings just to raise this child. I now do volunteer work in the community and own a small business on the side. Lucky? No. Things handed to me? Nope.
So, Sesh, I think you're right. Maybe if I thought of alcoholism as a disease, and not a sickness, then maybe, just maybe I could find more empathy.
I'm not at that point yet.
