sesh

Hi Kiki,
I don't think I was trying to feed you or anyone else here anything, I was just stating my own opinion, you might take it or leave it, so no need to jump all over me because of it. I can see your hurt, and I'm sorry for it, but it has nothing to do with me.
Yes, I do believe it is a disease, and I do believe my RAH's struggles are much worse than mine. I've seen my dad die at the age of 53 due to alcoholism. I've seen my RAH nearly die from liver cirrhosis, I could see he knew he was dieing and yet he was unable to do anything about it. I watch him struggle everyday with his sobriety. I have a choice there too, I can make it about myself: OH, God how can he do this to me, or I can understand that he is primarly doing it to himself. It is not personal. I'm a grown up, I can chose to stay with him or leave, I'm not staying because I can't leave, I'm staying as I want to be with him and share my life with him as long as he is sober and in recovery. If he starts drinking again I will not stay, because I don't want active alcoholism in my life, but I'd still feel the empathy for him, as again he is doing it to himself, not me, regardless of how is that painful to me.
Do I need to say that this is only my opinion and not advice to others on what they should do in their own lives or how they should feel and think.

And Still Waters, I don't really know if codependancy is clasified as disease. I personally don't feel it that way. To me it feels more like behavior patters, that I can learn slowly how to overcome. Again JMHO.

So I just wanted to say: peace, I'm entitled to my own opionion, and it wasn't my intention to provoke or trigger anyone. I just know since I've let go of my own anger and resentmet my life became much more happier. And since I think that is our common goal (hapiness) I was only sharing my opinion, so take what you like and leave the rest, no need to call my opinion the biggest bunch of bull crap or whatever, as to be honest it is inpolite and insulting.