Yes, I too was the raving lunatic in the house and my AH did not effect the kids it was me very much same as Thumper. We are separated 8 months now and I have gotten my sanity back.
I do not concern myself with how AH will change, I only look for how I can change. This has made life so much more peaceful for me and my kids. I have asked my higher power to help my AH and to help me focus on what I need to do for me.