I think a joint appointment at the doctors would help both of you.
Do you know what started this cycle of behaviour?
What I do think though is that you should not neglect your needs. If you working full time and away from your family (which it sounds like) things must be tough and tiring for you.
Maybe it's also time to get tough with her too. For example if she is laid in bed hungover, you and the kids go out for tea, or to the park and have fun and leave her at home.
Don't kill her with kindness.
It's hard but I think (from experience) it will work. She will want to be part of the fun and will learn that she has to sort herself out so she can take part.
Addicts are very selfish - it's all about them and their problems. I know because I am one. And the excuses they can come out with are amazing! I drink because I can't cope with this or that. Just don't ever let her blame you.
It is true about anti anxiety meds and anti-dpressants - they don't work if someone is drinking. They work on brain chemistry. But if this is altered by drinking (which drinking does - it causes major anxiety and depression) then they will be rendered ineffective.
Has she thought about AA?
A sponsor at AA would be able to converse with her everyday - be it meeting up or speaking on the phone. Attending AA meetings would be even better for her.
I think that there are lots of people on this forum that can tell you that rehab often turns out dry drunks. That is, people that are sober but still have that drinking mentality. They are bitter and unhappy that they cannot drink. People who embrace recovery are grateful and humble.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
But first and foremost, please look after yourself.
SR has so much knowledge and experience and love to give. Come and visit us as often as you can
And give those babies a big squeeze from me
xx