The one thing I learned from being with an AH who tried recovery is this. An A can talk all he wants, he can make promises, he can be so convincing how he can beat the disease, how his love for me can move mountains and will ultimately cure him of his disease. Because THAT is how much he loves me. Arent I special? Well. I believed an A. He never stayed sober. He relapsed all the time. He could go about 90 days and then hit the bottle like he never stopped. I listened to all his promises and I think he really meant them because he was very sincere. I put my life on hold over and over again and got pretty sick myself. I no longer want to hear what an A has to say..its all rubbish unless they have made it through recovery for a year and are working their steps.
That is what I learned from my 8 years with my stbxah...If I had the chance to do it over, I would never have married him. Alcoholism is progressive. I married a weekend drinker who turned into a nightly drinker. One never realized HOW BAD ALCOHOLISM CAN GET until they are already in the thick of it. I used to say how much I loved him and would stick by him no matter what. That was before I almost died inside. Love isnt about this kind of pain. Sickness or not, its his responsibility to get better.