Hi boskerber.
You don't have to talk to anyone, many go to groups, sit, listen, leave. I arrived to one group crying and just listening others had lived similar things and felt similar things made me think I was not alone and my experience was valid. It SUCKS when others are in denial, make excuses, etc but they also know him in passing, or it non-threatening contexts. We know them behind the scenes.
I am 28 too and would have moved with my parents but I had already moved with an XABF to a new city, so I moved with a friend and then rented by myself.
I truly believe God, the universe or whatever, Saved You from what could have been much worse outcomes.Alcoholics start getting violent in no time.
Those words he says are a trap to continue the cycle of abuse. Can you change your #?
Also, I believe things can work out with people like that
IF you like to be used for sex whenever they want it and many times with alcohol involved
IF you are willing to shut up and be insulted, yelled at
IF you are willing to work for: vodka, whiskey, beer, tequila, rum, brandy
IF you are willing to become a punching bag and cease being a woman, with every right to have joy and love in her life.
At first it sucks but 2 years later I am OK. And I work with XABF so that part is tricky, but I am coming to a point that I am indifferent, because I know the truth of who he is, I remember how he made me feel, I know he is still drinking the same Jack Daniels at the same Wings Army bar, I know I can't cure him, control him or caused anything of what he said or did. All that? is HIS stuff. That he doesn't acknowledge it is his problem... not mine.
There are great guys out there one can actually TRUST.. and guys who would NEVER EVER IN THEIR WILDEST DREAMS would imagine hurting you a 5% of what an alcoholic can do... mourn, learn, keep walking... we are here for you... and yes my life is much better without him, for instance its 2 AM, I am playing with my cats, eating chocolates, singing, and yes there is a jack daniels at home - has not been opened for months now.
Wine? yes a sip here and there along with my Caprese salad, for the health benefits and improved circulation. That's it...
And tomorrow morning ? my cats again, my music again, my great hot cakes breakfast, my makeup again... and no one telling me i'm fat, ugly, dumb, boring, unworthy, with their acts or words or looks... no one treating me like his $#&"$& toy without feelings or needs, made only to make HIM happy.
It feels good.
Yes, life is much better... give it more time and you'll have more clarity!