I am glad you are here. I am real glad too that you are going to Alanon. There is a book called Codependent No More by Melody Beattie which would help you also. The disease is progressive. If he does not want help there is really not alot you can do. Ignore what he says. LOOK at his ACTIONS. Alcoholics are charming and major manipulators. You can only change you. Work the program you wish he would work. Good luck.