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Old 10-05-2010, 03:37 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
FiftyPence
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 77
I know everyone's situation is different (body mass, tolerance etc), but in terms of daily consumption, one whole bottle of wine is definitely in the realm of the alcoholic. That is a lot alcohol, especially if it's red wine, which can average anything between 12 and 14 percent alcohol by volume. That is roughly 10 units of alcohol, over FIVE times the recommended daily limit of 2 units a day for women as defined by the World Health Organization.

I've read up on this because my AW consumes the same quantity daily without fail - at minimum 1 bottle of red wine (750 ml), generally with about 13-14 percent alcohol by volume. She's been doing this now for almost 3 years. I can tell you from my experience that this quantity makes her dumb as rocks now when she drinks. It's affected her brain for sure, I'm convinced she's permanently damaged it.

Also watch out for prescription drugs. An alcoholic often combines booze with sleeping tablets due to the disturbed sleep patterns that alcohol creates. It's an unholy combination because the sleeping tablets create a similar drunk state, and it amplifies the effect of alcohol when combined.

I'm not sure what her reaction will be when you approach her about it, but be prepared for a lot of kicking back at you. You simply will not believe how an active alcoholic rationalizes their consumption and how they want to minimize the effect of it on their lives and the lives of the people closest to them.

In my mind alcoholism is a disease where the consumption of alcohol is only a component of the problem. The other components are blame and denial, and there's every chance she'll blame you for it while simultaneously denying the problem is even there.

My AW sees me as being judgmental in a moral sense, but in fact we need to use our judgment as partners of alcoholics to be able to differentiate what is acceptable consumption and what is not. Often we subconsciously just go with the alcoholic's daily regimen of intake because it's something that becomes repeated daily and just becomes part of the routine of everyday life.

However if you take a step back and see that alcohol is being used here for purposes other than social or celebratory, then you get to see just how abnormal its daily consumption is. Once you start pointing that out to her, be prepared to open up Pandora's box!

If I can give you any personal advice, learned from hard experience, don't try and control her drinking - only she can do that. By the same token, don't let her endanger anyone, especially children if you have them. Do what you need to do to protect them. Don't let your relationship with her cloud your judgment around those kinds of issues. It's easier said than done, because we often act in what we think are the interests of our relationship with our alcoholic partners, when in fact we're perpetuating or enabling the conditions that allow them to drink.
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