Sorry, i'm rambling and its a long post
3 weeks ago I moved in with my ABF. We have been dating long distance (5 hours away) for just over a year and i knew he was an alcoholic. I knew it was bad too. his boss called me one day to say my bf has a routine. He gets paid once a month, pays his bills and child support then drinks until the rest of the money is gone. Last year he even drank so much in the winter that he went for a walk, got lost and got horrible frostbite on his feet. He almost lost his toes!!!. Anyways, his boss keeps him around even tho it impacts his business. His boss feels bad for him. Unfortunately i know my ABF gets special treatment from his boss because he is very mechanically skilled and his boss cant get anyone else to work since its a small town. This has been going on for atleast 4 years.
So I moved in with my man because everyone thought it would help, even I thought it would help. I was wrong. Now I got to see the drinking first hand. He got drunk a two weeks ago on saturday. I was actually proud of him for coming into the house and telling me he had bought some booze and had wanted me to pour the rest out. I thought that was great that he could tell me that. However he neglected to tell me about the other two bottles in the shed that he hid. So it was a long weekend. He sobered up and went to work that Monday but he then got paid on the 30th. I had a dentist appointment and made it home at 6pm. He was done at 5. That gave him an hour to go buy booze. I didnt know he had the booze until after supper. He went to work in the garden which he loves to do, then i went outside to offer him some water and he mentioned he had a drink. He didnt seem drunk yet. We then walked to his aunt's and he progressively got worse. He didnt have anymore to drink but it just kicked in slowly until about an hour later. She knew he was drunk, but she doesnt care. She lets him stay there anytime he wants because he buys her smokes and stuff. He was ready to pass out so we left. I pretty much had to hold him up for the 4 blocks home. He then went to the bedroom and passed out. I went to check in on him and he had wet the bed ALOT. So i got frustrated and left him there. He got up and came to see me on the couch, he then passed out there and peed himself there too. It was the grossest thing ever. Our place was urinated all over!!
He sobered up the next day and felt remorseful like always. We went to get groceries and i accidently left his debit card with him so he went to get more booze. His boss had been texting me to tell me about supper plans for us that night and i mentioned nathan was drinking again, so he came over and had a chat with my bf. He listened and cried. His boss left and my man kept drinking. So i went over to his friend's place to chill out and just get away. I returned at 6 to see if my guy was sober enough for supper. He wasnt in good shape but wanted to go, so we did go over to his boss's house for supper. Things went well actually until his boss offered me a drink. I said that wouldnt be fair to my man so i would just have coffee but then he offered my man a drink too. I was floored!!! How on earth could he do that knowing how horrible his addiction is! It's affecting his business and he doesnt seem to care
After supper we went home and i hopped into the bathtub. I should have taken my purse in the bathroom with me because while i was in there he went into my purse and took 60$ out of my wallet and took off to get booze. The money was his cause i was holding onto it, but i didnt think he would go thru my purse to get it. Guess he just wanted the booze that badly
That night was brutal. He got very very angry and kept telling me to get out of his house when i would try and talk to him (I dont yell anymore cause i know it does no good). I told him i would leave monday, but he kept saying NOW. So i packed everything up in my car, said goodbye to his mom, and left for my home 5 hours away.
I Miss him sooooo much. I keep thinking all the good times outweigh the bad, and that i could just ignore his drinking. He doesnt use my money for booze so i could always support myself. I feel awful that i'm 28 years old and had to move back in with my parents. I wonder if i should have just sucked it up and dealt with the stress. His boss even commented once that my ABF "only" drinks once a month so it could be worse. Everyone, including myself keeps making excuses for him. His dad abandoned him, his sister was killed in a car accident, his ex wont let him see his child, etc. I gotta realize we all have issues and we gotta deal with them in better ways.
My ABF is still drinking this very moment. He was out of money but GST cheques came out so that gave him another 100$ to drink away. He knows I'm gone. Early in the morning yesterday and today he would be sober for a bit and send me texts telling me how much he loves me, and sorry for the hurt, blah blah blah. I cant seem to end contact with him, its so hard. I wish i had taken his cell phone with me like i was gonna so he couldnt reach me, but i gave it back to him. I always fall for his sweet texts cause he says all the things i love to hear.
I want him to go to rehab, so we can attempt a future together, but at the moment i dont think he wants to go, so i cant force him. I know its a long shot that it will fix things, but i want to try. Am i completely insane? I just dont wanna give up on him like everyone else has.
I'm gonna start alanon next week, hoping it will help