The simple old story of how we are living with stress, adrenaline and such from the walking on eggshells, chaos and often hell, of living with an A in full spate. It can be from weeks to years of living on the edge, the insanity of it all can have more than a small effect on the family, and the partner/spouse trying to cope is under immense pressure.
Then the A ends up in rehab, often with accolades from estranged family and friends, while the the survivors contemplate the mess left behind, and feel like lepers. They feel they have lived thru a terrorist attack, while the terrorist is being treated wonderfully and they are ignored, or worse, blamed for the attack happening to them.
Babyblue, it is like a form of shell shock, can be depression or lead down that path, and needs to be taken seriously.
Me, I saw my doctor and got referred for counseling......even with my counseling and psychology degrees, I knew I could not get myself thru how I felt.
Please look at having a good medical check up, tell your Dr you feel this way, and for heaven's sake eatwell, and take care to pamper yourself.