Welcome to the SR family HeatherW!
Welcome to you from across the pond. There are members here from all across the globe. please pull out your keyboard and make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.
Your loved ones manipulation is typical addictive behavior. Say anything, justify everything, respect no one, and take responsibility for nothing are also common traits of active addiction.
The addiction is the priority for the alcoholic.
I tried to manipulate, control, fix, love, heal my alcoholic husband. It just left me resentful, exhausted, frustrated, doubtful and simply crazy!
I came here to SR and learned about the three C's of his addiction:
I did not Cause it
I could not Control it
I would not Cure it
I had to accept that the addiction belonged to him as well as the recovery. I also learned that I had my own recovery journey to begin.
That's how this forum works. Friends & Family members helping each other along the way.
Here are some steps that have worked for us:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Let us know how we can help you!