I'm sorry for what you are going through. I know how frustrating it is to deal with addiction. I sincerely hope you find help for now and for after the baby is born. I know for me that if I went out drinking again, I would try to make up for the lost time of when I wasn't drinking and the result would be horrendous!
Please get help. Thinking about and worshiping alcohol is not fair to you, your child that is already born, or your baby inside you.