Akrasia,
I think you and I are in a similar spot. I know I didn't cause it, I know I can't control it, and I certainly know I can't cure it. And I don't ignore the pink elephant in the room. There it is, huge, pink elephant. I will not apologize for it or the way I feel. It belongs in the circus, not my home.
I told my mother, Queen Codie, the story of the open AA meeting, and she replied, "Well, I found Al-anon very helpful because I had to live with it for so long..." Really? Do you think she had to live with it for so long? She said I needed empathy! Really? Empathy.
How about I just raise my son with all the great things life has to offer with faith, belief, principles, the common good, helping our neighbor, stand up for what's right, have compassion for people, and all those things? How about I teach him how to handle life himself without doing everything for him? Let him fly! How about that?!