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Old 10-03-2010, 05:10 AM
  # 67 (permalink)  
zbear23
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Originally Posted by coyote21 View Post
While I'm not sure I was an "adrenaline junkie", I do believe my body got used to the adrenaline "dump" of every new crisis.

So that when I finally got out, the LACK of adrenaline made what I now see as my coveted serenity seem empty, and too quiet mentally and emotionally. Some have recently referred to it as boring, I can see that.

But I was SO done and burnt out I welcomed quiet and peacefulness. But it did take some getting used to. Withdrawal? IDK, maybe.

I do know, in retrospect, all that adrenaline was KILLING me, literally. I know it can't be good for me.

Seems like all my relationships were similar in that they had that adrenaline dump, that powerful high, even in the beginning. To me THAT is what love was. Maybe I was a junkie without realizing it.

I do believe I'm "recovered" from THAT particular need now. Being married to an alcoholic was my magic cure.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Coyote.
It's not adrenaline per se, but the abuse...just like any other substance can lead to dependence with repeated abuse/overuse. Adrenaline is a natural human solution to a perceived threat, but since we have very few saber tooth tigers around these days, most of our perceived threats are emotional rather than physical. But the brain has difficulty differentiating between the two. Hence, we tend to respond with "fight or flight" to emotional "insult" to our egos. On a side note, adrenaline is an awesomely powerful drug which, abused over time, will kill you quicker than alcohol.

An example of not blaming the substance, but how it is used, is that there is virtually no difference between fear and excitement....other than how we experience them. Some folks like roller coasters, some don't. Some find solitude and serenity boring. I value them because I no longer require the world to entertain me, to fill me up. I have a spiritual program to do that these days. I do believe that only fear (and its positive cousin, excitement) stimulate adrenaline. Love never does.

blessings
zenbear
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