Thank you all for your posts. Hearing what I knew I would but didn't really want to. My own counselor helped me very much in the past to get big parts of myself back but she didn't have addiction experience. Probably a counselor for myself with addiction understanding is best next step for me as I can't seem to let go and still have hope that AH will recover and be loving supportive husband of my dreams!
I do believe my husband is managing his alcoholism but he also has other complications like OCD which he is supposedly taking the Prozac for and which created other issues in our marriage.
Thanks again for helping me with today. All is good and tomorrow I will start anew and not even think about what will happen when his lease is up until that day comes and maybe I will say get another lease and maybe AH will just get the lease and not even say anything to me anyway like he did before after 3 months of separation.