DesertEyes

Hello there 1234, and pleased to "meet" you

I know that feeling. I dunno about you, but I see all the addictions as a horror. They cause such an incredible amount of pain and damage to people.

Well yeah. I also wish I could fix my problems _now_. Be the perfect person overnight. Read _one_ book and be done with it. Doesn't work that way, does it?

Actually, anger is much better than denial. If you're feeling anger then you are clearly connecting with your feelings and motivated to keep growing. I know cuz that's the way it was for me. I was in my own denial as an ACoA for a long time. My emotions simply shut down as a child and stayed that way as I grew into adulthood. As I worked on my recovery I started feeling that anger you describe so well. And grief. And shame. and all kinds of other feelings.

Anger was good for me, it gave me the energy and drive to continue working on me.

Well yeah but all that intellectual knowledge never did me any good. I had to learn _emotionally_ what it was all about before I started making progress.

It may be powerful, but it's still just a disease. Just messed up genes and goofed up chemicals in the brain. It's not some kind of monster out of a Sci Fi movie. It's no different than cancer, heart disease, or any other such condition. Which means that those of us who choose to fight can overcome it. And it doesn't even require any kind of surgery

(ok, bad joke <grin> )

Me too. I use much stronger words than "awful". The good news is that we _do_ grow up, and we grow up stronger in the injured places. We grow up to be far more compassionate, understanding and capable than those who had no challenges at all in their life. We grow up to be parents that take parenting classes _before_ they have kids, we go to premarital counseling _before_ there's problems, we are far more careful about who we marry, make great doctors and shrinks and friends and basically the world is a better place because us ACoA's and alanoids are willing to make ourselves into better people.

You're one of _us_, 1234, and I'm honored that you choose to participate in SR.

well, who's "protecting" you? The ACoA in denial from 11 months ago? Or a much wiser ACoA who is aware of where all the "emotional landmines" are and is learning how to be a better friend to herself? Yes the world has always been unsafe, but I've found a whole new "bodyguard" for that injured child I have within. This new bodyguard has _no_ denial, no problems with assertiveness and no problem saying "no".

From what you've posted here on SR it sounds to me like you're building a whole new life for yourself that is healthy and free. IF you look around SR you'll see thousands and thousands of people who are doing exactly the same thing and doing wonderfully at it. You're in good company.

Mike