Hi evenkeel,
I just wanted to tell you that I totally understand the loneliness of being married to an alcoholic.
In your posts, I heard you say a couple of times that you regret all the times you drank with her, went to bars with her, etc. You are not alone in this! Many of us have done the very same thing. I know that I have done every single thing I can think of to either hinder his drinking or prevent horrible consequences from happening as a result of his drinking. After 22+ plus years, I can tell you that nothing has ever worked. I am powerless over my husband's addiction.
As far as counseling goes ~ we went once and were told that as long as there was active addiction, counseling would be useless.
It seems you are making great progress. I want to echo what some of the others have said about Awareness, Acceptance & Action. These steps are essential in my opinion. I have found Acceptance to be the most difficult part so far... it is what it is. I can't change him, but I can change me.
Hugs to you! Kerbearz