Originally Posted by
ItsmeAlice 
You're not alone Circle, not at all.
My XABF talked of moving overseas and owning a traditional pub. Talk, talk, talk is all it was and yet I actually thought at one point that we should do it because he seemed so suited for it. Yes, it's true, I actually used those words once. It was before I accepted his binge drinking as a real problem with alcohol and before I accepted it as an addiction.
Near the end when the talk started about "ditchin' it all here and moving overseas to run a pub" again, I filled out the papers for him to get a passport and gave them to him to sign. When out running errands together I drove right to a photo shop to get his picture taken for the passport, and he would not get out of the car. I sent an email overseas to a job placement service to get him working over there and so he could find us a place to live then I would pack up our pets and the house and meet him over there. When the email came back with jobs available, he deleted it and refused to discuss this 10+ year dream of his any further.
Alice
AH has had the 'self-employed dream' for as long as I've known him. I went ahead and sent him an email with ways we can work towards self-employment, but that I will NEVER be supportive of him owing a bar or willing to mortgage our house. All responses were about hurt feelings and how I just don't believe in him to the last one about how he'll just work crap jobs until the next less-crappy job comes along. My very short responses were that 'you don't want it if you're giving up this fast'. His birthday is this weekend as well, so I'm sure I'll hear something about how I ruined what was supposed to be a special time for him (cue violins.....).