You're not alone Circle, not at all.
My XABF talked of moving overseas and owning a traditional pub. Talk, talk, talk is all it was and yet I actually thought at one point that we should do it because he seemed so suited for it. Yes, it's true, I actually used those words once. It was before I accepted his binge drinking as a real problem with alcohol and before I accepted it as an addiction.
Near the end when the talk started about "ditchin' it all here and moving overseas to run a pub" again, I filled out the papers for him to get a passport and gave them to him to sign. When out running errands together I drove right to a photo shop to get his picture taken for the passport, and he would not get out of the car. I sent an email overseas to a job placement service to get him working over there and so he could find us a place to live then I would pack up our pets and the house and meet him over there. When the email came back with jobs available, he deleted it and refused to discuss this 10+ year dream of his any further.
By this point let me say, I had no intention of ever moving myself and my pets anywhere with him. My point was two-fold. 1) to prove once and for all to myself whether he would ever after a decade actually amount to any big plans he had and if he did, it would 2) get him out of my life and allow me some recovery time to move on with him far far away.
It was sad to accept, but very liberating also to know that he had no intention of doing anything with himself. He intended for me to do all the work so he could reap the rewards and then drink himself to death because he knew he didn't deserve it. He had done it with many plans we made together over the years, I just didn't have the good sense to see it. Recovery took those blinders off.
I know what its like to not be financially ready to get out on your own and figuring if you have to wait why not hope he gets his act together in that time. That's how it started for me. I put my money aside, I made plans in the background, and waited.
In the end he lost his job leaving us without our housing that came with his job and I had to jump ship or sink with him. It was scary as all get out but easier to accept by then because he had spiralled in his drinking in the short time from his layoff to our last day there, so his decision to choose the booze over me was apparent.
Keep on pluggin along and more will be revealed to you!
Alice