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Old 10-01-2010, 11:32 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Freedom1990
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
The amount being drank, the frequency, or what is drank doesn't matter.

I was a binge drinker. I never drank daily. I never got a DUI. I never ended up in jail.

I'm still an alcoholic, albeit a sober one today.

We learn things in childhood that often repeat well into our adult years.

Your father was an alcoholic, so in comparing your fiance's drinking to your father's, you felt you made a better choice in a man, yes?

I know that pattern well myself.

Although there was no active alcoholism in the home when I was growing up, alcoholism had affected the family, on both sides.

My father is an adult child of two alcoholics, and has never sought any recovery for himself in regards to the effects his parents' alcoholism had on him.

So, he is a workaholic, a very rigid man. My mother is an untreated codependent who hinges her reality off of others. She is completely dependent on my father.

I have had a past history of engaging in dysfunctional marriages/relationships.

I finally hit a bottom in my own codependency in 1999 when my ex-fiance walked out on us. Looking back now I can see he was a dry drunk.

I don't care to repeat that pattern anymore. I've had enough pain.
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