Freedom- right now the deal breaker is when he starts drinking again. AH has 'stopped' drinking since the last 'If you can't/won't quit drinking, we should look into separating' talk. I don't buy it for a second that he's done for good. I really, really, really can not move out on my own with our debt. So I am taking steps (albeit small ones) to get out of this situation. I never wanted to be here, I'm over crying/mulling about it, and as I come to terms with what I'm pretty sure means the end of our relationship, I'm trying to dig my way out.
I've been laughing/stunned all morning long about not being supportive in his endeavors to buy a bar. It sucked while he was all excited telling me his new idea last night because as soon as he stated his idea, he immediately saw I wasn't on board. I was in restaurant work for 13 years, 6 of which was management, and I have NO DESIRE to ever do that again now that I'm out of the business. I barely tried to defend my position and AH went into silent treatment mode. I'm considering sending him an email stating the circumstances where I'd be willing to be supportive of him owning his own business, but I'm pretty sure it would fall on deaf ears. You know, because I'd be talking about crazy things like downsizing, saving money, needing a business plan....responsible things like that.